BABBLE

Its been a long time since i wrote something. I open my notebook and think ill finally start on something... but my thoughts keep wandering...wandering... I think of the sea and am yearning to listen to the sound of the sea... the sea birds singing and the breeze rushing on my face... i want to feel all of that.. i want to feel the sand under my feet slippery and yet so nice.... again my thoughts wander.... i feel like as though m in the middle of the sea... surrounded by water and nothing but water... worse i cannot find anything or anyone around me to hold on to... i am trying to swim but i dont know to swim... i am trying to breathe but i can feel the currents pulling me... i am struggling for breath ... i am trying to think.... think calm , breathe in and out, slowly but steady... but none of these thoughts are reassuring me... i feel lost... i am loosing it now.. i know it but i am a survivor .. i dont want to give in yet...i am stubborn... i want to fight till my last breath kno...

I just thought of scribbling something out here. I dont know but right now everything is so messed up in my life. Nothing seems to be going right. The more I try to get things straightened it just gets worse day by day. It’s like holding sand tight in my fists only to realize it is slipping away. That’s how I feel my life is, slipping away from my hands. I don’t know what to do, whom to tell, how to tell, where to begin or where to end? Should i? Would everything just turn out to be alright? My life feels like as though the waves are lashing on the rocks and settling on the sea. Life has its own course. It takes us through difficult times and then shows us the wonderful times. After every difficult moment in life there is a happy moment. Isn’t it? But then why does it seem that in our difficult times it is very easy to loose all hope on life, on oneself, on friends and loved ones? They say difficult times are to pass and good times are there to stay forever… Why is that during our dif...

If I had to sit here and think about life and its beauty then I guess there is a lot to talk about. But have you ever thought about writing down the most difficult moments in life. I guess it’s a funny way we just don’t want to keep unwanted memories. Hurt feels like a distant memory. But the pain is still there. It can never be removed. It is a gut-wrenching pain, a heart ache. Sometimes when I go back to the depths of my soul and remember the smallest details about life. I know its still there. If i could re-trace those paths and correct my wrongs, then maybe I would not land in my present situation that I am. The reality is my life looks so bleak. Dreams are a part of us. We dream about life about our loved ones, about anything for that matter. They make us feel better about life but they never come true. I guess dreams are an escape of the realities of life. I dream so much about my loved ones but the moment I wake up I don’t remember it. I usually wish my dreams were my re...